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Dear Diary,

Published on 11 May 2020 at 23:00

It all went so well, I felt comfortable in my own skin. Was really pulling me out of that corona rut, maybe a new job. Just get everything back to the good life. But now, now everything is going downhill again with that terrible miser of a father-in-law who can stay with us 'temporarily' .. I can't bear it anymore, I'm really fed up. I'm going crazy..

It is never good either, there will always be something to report and what do you think, it will never be positive what comes out. Everything and everyone is negative. It can never be normal. I've been suffering from severe migraines all day. And the only thing I get to hear is she's still in bed.. Well guess what, I'm definitely still in bed and what else.. We're talking about my house, about my furniture, my goddamn house. My life, my decisions. It doesn't make me good, then you think you're doing the right thing. Then you think.. Yes I will get through this, it won't be that hard, right. Well I was very wrong about that. I live with a Narcissist in the house. He only thinks of himself, he is only concerned with himself. Everyone and everything around that is bad, he himself is the most important.

We have completely lost our privacy, we and everyone around us think we are doing everything right. But all day long we hear what is bad, no one is there for him, his whole family abandons him. His children are nothing. No because he's perfect, the whole world revolves around him. Yeah, so I didn't think so. How selfish can you be if you think this world is all about you. And if it does, you've ruined it for yourself mate. Because what I've found is not healthy. He thinks and believes in himself and all the lies he throws out. So many problems, alcohol, money, your life. You can't just get over that.

I wish he would take responsibility for his problems, but he thinks and believes that he has no problems. So I can forget about taking responsibility. Why does this have to be this way, am I doing something out of the goodness of my heart we are just fucking fucked hard. I wish I had a time machine, could turn everything back, and never offer him my house to come and stay for a while. But what about temporary? You know what would be nice. If suddenly a house became available today and was offered to him like this. But unfortunately, that doesn't happen. And in addition, this best man does not even have a social security benefit or an income. So even if that offer is there, how the fuck is he going to pay for it. I wish everyone would just open their eyes and just drag him out of our house. But shit happening, became my own problem what yes, I temporarily took him in.
Tomorrow I get a call from Luke from the Air Force, hopefully some good stuff. Because my head is really about to break. I can't keep this up like this, my relationship with my fiancé is going down. My relationship with my family and friends is ruined by this. Everything just breaks. You have to check that one person can just do this. The privacy is simply gone, the atmosphere in the house is unbearable. And what does he only spread negativity, just mean and continuous me me me and the rest can... suffocate! Exactly that. Life is unfair. If only there was only one way out…if only there was just…

Posted on: 11-05-2020


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