Dear Diary, today it has been one month since you left this earth. Mom, I miss you so very much. I want you back! I want to hug you, I want to tell you about so many nice things. I want to tell you how I'm doing, that I have a job, I'm moving and maybe next year go to college.
Tuesday evening I wanted to call you to tell you about my room I found in Groningen, but only then does it come back to me that you are no longer there. I can no longer come by, message or call you. That is over. Mom, how I want you back.
It still haunts my mind, I shouldn't have seen you when you passed away, your look, your attitude, it's still so fresh in my memory. I was just shocked at how you looked, my mom was already gone. You were so cold, there was just nothing left of you. All that was left was a body full of cancer, the disease that destroyed you.
So much lost, so much lost. What five years of misdiagnosis can do to you. Suddenly asthma turned out to be many times worse for you. You had a rare form of lung cancer. 1 in 10,000 people get this form. And unfortunately you were among these people. So much has happened, I know that! I blamed you a lot. And I know that I have done or said many hurtful and hurtful things to you. And now that you're gone, I can never make it right or do it better.
I'm sorry mom for everything I've done wrong. I love you dearly, even though you are no longer with us! I never want to lose you from my heart again. Although sometimes I feel as if you slowly never existed. Today you were on my mind all day, everything flashed before me!
Wish you Were Here.
Posted on: 30-10-2017